LILLY ALLEN

ALFIE SONG ;)

Tu peor error/ La quinta estacion

Hace tiempo que coment� con la almohada
que tal vez y para ti soy una carga,
hace tiempo que ya no le cre� nada
y he notado tu sonrisa un poco cansada.

Con los d�as se amontonan los momentos,
que perdimos por tratar de ser sinceros.
Y aunque no me creas, cre� que aun te cre�.
Y aunque no me quieras, cre� que aun te quiero.

Yo, perdida entre la confusi�n,
de no saber si s� o si no...
Voy esquivando tus miradas.
Yo, que he sido tu peor error
me quedo con la sensaci�n,
de no tener las cosas claras.

He tocado con la punta de los dedos,
ese cielo que prometes con tus besos.
Como un ni�o me crei todos tu cuentos,
y aunque tu me entiendas...
Yo ya no te entiendo.

Solo quiero los recuerdos de ese invierno
que pasamos enterrando sentimientos.
Y aunque no me creas, cre� que aun te cre�.
Y aunque no me quieras, cre� que aun te quiero.

Yo, perdida entre la confusi�n,
de no saber si s� o si no...
Voy esquivando tus miradas.
Yo, que he sido tu peor error
me quedo con la sensaci�n,
de no tener las cosas claras.

He sido yo, lo amargo de tu voz,
la mala entre nosotros dos
y no pasa nada.

Se apaga la luz,
si busco y no estas tu,
si el tiempo no nos dijo adios,
y todo se acaba...

�YO!

Yo, perdida entre la confusi�n,
de no saber si s� o si no...
Voy esquivando tus miradas.
Yo, que he sido tu peor error
me quedo con la sensaci�n,
de no tener las cosas claras.

Something is fishy

I been feeling sick. I heard its flue season. I feel sick with symptoms such as a sudden headache that makes me feel blush and then I feel drowsy with nausea. At the same time, I can't tolerate foods such as meat and cheese and pepperoni. I only want some sweets and lemons to cut my nausea.

rEALIZATION

I feel like I am about to make a big mistake. I am in the middle of two loves but I love one more than the other. I love the old love better than the new one everybody knows that in my house and I think Raul started to feel my realization. He started to notice my absent mind when he talks to me. Still, I promise my 100% fidelity and I am going to stick with it. I just don't know why I never feel secure when I am with him. I started thinking that how wants me pregnant just for him to be secure i won't run away with someone else, but he is wrong if I would do that ( i never will) i would do it anyways. I see myself spending time with Raul for a while but not in the long run.

I spoke to Francis yesterday

Seeing Francis made me feel secure as always, I still feel something for him i know. Still, what i feel is no longer as strong as my desire to see Raul. Everytime, I see Francis my fidelity contract almost fail to survive but only for a while. I resist him more now, and soon I am not going to have to resist him. It will be obvious that I no longer desire his touch. this what raul is going to do to me when I tell him that saw Francis.
I will tell raul that I love him

It didn't last that long

my mom does not want Raul to come in my house not even as a friend. How Am I going to tell her that I promise him 100% loyalty and maybe and only maybe the change of a baby not now but maybe in less than a year. How am I going to explain, she wont listen. She told me that it would be better for me to leave the house before I come home pregnant. I don't want that for me, but she won't even let me talk to him. For her, he is nothing, but for me he is ... He told me that if for some reason I end up pregnant then, I would have to leave my mom's house and leave with him, but i do not want that. I just don't. I would love for my mom to talk to Raul and he can stay at my step for us to just talk, but its impossible. I have a mother that would rather see me dead than married with someone she considers nothing, Basura. Why things have to be this way. If a relationship doesn't work, it wont work. Why to make a big deal out if it. :( How much i have to pledge my mom.

There is a war between the kisses I get and the one

I WANT. MY Relationship with Raul is like a bird telling another bird not to fly too high 'cuz you might get smack. I want passionate kisses, but I always get some kisses on the forehead. I feel like he wants to punish me forever but maybe soon I might be kissing on the forehead my own flesh and blood. Why Raul wants my total fidelity. He said no more SEX with anybody for at least six months in order for us to start a more friendly relationship. I guess is the only way for me to regain whatever purity I might have. Yak!!! I guess its okay but I don't like it a bit. This good thing is giving me headache. :)

I want to sleep away my problems.

I feel problems are coming to me tomorrow.

School days are over this sememster /time for a tea

School days are over. I have finish pretty much all my projects. No more exams, but I still have to study for the summer. After that WORK, WORK,Work Problems from now on... :(
Raul told me that because he cannot trust me; we are going to be friends for a long while before we ever talk about a relationship. He thinks that i am just going to make him ask me then, I will say sorry but my mom doesn't like you. ;) He told me he will wait 6 months before dating or anything like it. He looks at me with the evil eye. Doesn't he know I am just evil by nature. ;) Last monday, we went to see Spiderman 3. It was funny he bought a cake because it was his birthday, but he only likes 3 leches with chocolate I do not like that type of cake and so I only ate only the strawberry. During the entire movie we only laugh of how dumb the movie was and we sat distant from each other. To me, this is the best way to remain friends, but unfortunately he grab my hand and got real close but I turned my face away. His hands started to sweat because he fears my rejection but its better that way. I gave him a look of do not work and he smile. The movie was over and I told him I wanted to go home. I can see in his eyes that he want to spend time but i do not feel safe yet. He took home and gave me a kiss in my forehead, but while i was getting out of the car he grab my hand and gave me a rose and told me it wont die until I see you again. I laugh and left.

if I ever get a dog it must be a FOX BULL TERRIER

hopefully everything goes right on my interview

I need to leave my work place before i start having legal problems at work. My boss is the crazy one. making me work while she goes I do not know where.
My friendships are bad none of friends and not even raul say to trust me. Peter thinks many things of me. Bad ones, I know. For Francis it will be better to stay away before I start asking for stuff like clothes, rings and stuff just for fun. Still, I do not want them to forget about me.

How I feel at work :( and what I eventually going to do

A little picture

Raul and me

I know I know I'm just crazy

I know my friendship with Francis is dead. I haven't tell him that I'm going out with Raul lately. Instead, I looked for Peter approvel. Raul and peter shaked hands. Raul was worried because he tough that Peter was going to get in trouble for lying to my mom by saying that he is going out with me but Im really going out with Raul. Peter's face was relieve; I guess because he expected something bad, but once he saw Raul's eyes he knew he loves me. Peter is in peace. Still, I feel Francis present and think about him even though I'm leaving him behind. Our friendship is over, dead. I dont know what to do.

I just love them :)

I hate my work

I fought with my boss again. I think she is crazy.

MY BEAUTIFULS

THE KILLERS

I am almost there.

Finally, I decided to open another blogger. Lately, I have been feeling really tired.
Everyone knows, I hate my job. It is just making me tired, and I have problems with my boss. Problems that can not be solve in a reasonable way.